If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
