just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize