I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
