When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
