There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize