Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
