You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
where am i from again
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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