i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
