NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
