Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
