I think I just saw someone hide a body.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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