He is an equal opportunity slut.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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