don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
