I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
