I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The best revenge is premature balding
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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