My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
