I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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