i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
