Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
