AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
