I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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