i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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