gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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