Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
