I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
