i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
