I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
