using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
