she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
