i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
