Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
