I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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