Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
