Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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