week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
