The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
