You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
