Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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