My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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