I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize