it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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