he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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