Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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