Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
