"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
