doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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