Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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