i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
