Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
