I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
