For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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