i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
