and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
