You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
