her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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