Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Drunk is not a location!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
