I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
