Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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