Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish they made helmets for livers.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
