if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize