How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
