I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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